Iraq, Duck-Duck-Goose and a Funeral

Often times in life we get so self-adsorbed and self involved we forget that the world does not revolve around us. In the last week, I have had to face some emotional inner battles that have been brought into real perspective by outside events. In the days leading up to my family’s first camping trip on Memorial Day weekend, I got several calls from people in my Army Reserve Unit and found out that there seems to be a real possibility that I may have to return to Iraq for a second tour. This news was semi-expected but un-welcomed to say the least. See, I would like to tell you that as an American Soldier and citizen of this great nation that when you get news like that you drop everything and start packing at once with excitement and bravery in your heart. However, that would be a lie. A lie I fear many people tell themselves in order to deal with their own feelings and to protect their loved ones. Don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those people who think we should tuck our tails and run; I am just a dad and a husband that if called to duty again will miss his wife and son very much. The year I spent in Iraq was one of the hardest years of my life. I missed most of my wife’s pregnancy and the first eight months of my son’s life. We went through emotional, spiritual, marital and financial problems because of my many months of absence. We just have started to recover in some ways from the effects of that year at war.
So, burdened with this news and after talking with my wife we go on our first ever camping trip as a family. We went to the mountains of northeast Georgia to a quiet little place named Enota to spend three days without a cell phone signal or many modern conveniences. We hiked and cooked out and watched my son truly enjoy himself. My son Michael caught his first fish ever on this trip. The last full day we were there I watched my son playing Duck, Duck, Goose on one of the in ground trampolines with several other kids of various ages that he did not know. My son being probably the youngest in the crowd was not up to the same level of professionalism that the other kids were when it came to the fine art of Duck, Duck, Goose. It was during this simple childhood game as I watched my son run his heart out to escape the person he had just tagged goose that I had an epiphany. My personal sacrifice of a year in Iraq was for this very reason. It was so my son could play innocent children’s games without worrying about terrorist or any other enemy trying to steal away his innocence. I welled up with pride and patriotism inside and felt a certain peace that had been eluding me for several days.
After our camping trip we returned home to the normal routine of life with this still very present dark cloud hovering over me and my family. We then found out that our Pastor’s wife had lost her Grandfather to cancer while we were away. While I was sitting in attendance of the funeral service for Jimmy Stowe, I had my second epiphany in less than a week. That same peace came over me and I knew that my family and I would be okay and that even though we may have to endure another trial and walk through the valley yet once again others have lost more and went through worse than we have. If it is God’s will for me to be away from my family again to fight for something I love and cherish as much as I do this country then I will proudly serve again. Yes, I will miss my family, and no, I would rather not go. However, with uncertainty in my heart and fear being held off only by patriotism I will face this like I have every other big event in my life; with the full support of my family and friends, the guidance of a loving God and the freedom and love of a great nation. I am a very proud Christian, Father, Husband and American.