These thoughts have been weighing on my mind for sometime now and I felt it was time to put it in writing and get some feedback on this subject. Adoption is a noble and wonderful process we have in order to place children from around the world and around the country with families that are willing to open their lives, their homes and their hearts to children that don’t have a family. It is an awesome way to not only help a child but to also change the world. That’s what you’re doing when you adopt a child, you are changing the world. In today’s world we literally have thousands upon thousands of children that are in need of a good home. The problem comes in when bureaucracy gets in the way. The fact of the matter is that you have a countless number of good willing families out there willing to adopt these children but will never be given the opportunity to do so because they simply can’t afford the adoption process. We are talking about families that could easily afford to raise a child but can not afford the often unrealistic and immoral adoption fees. It doesn’t make sense to me when we have organizations whose sole purpose is to place children in good homes but make it so difficult for good homes to afford it. Now as a side note it can be considerably less expensive if you adopt through the Foster Care system depending on your state. Otherwise the cost can range from $3,000 to $40,000, mostly leaning towards the high end.
I would like to offer up a parallel predicament that is a much less serious issue but is being mismanaged in the same way. When is the last time you heard your kid say “I want a puppy” or “can we get a dog”? Well, if you are like most good and decent Americans you might have thought about going to your local animal shelter an adopting a pet. However, after doing a little research you run across the same kind of bureaucracy that runs human adoption agencies just on a much smaller scale. The end result is the same; you have to pay way to much money to adopt. In my county it is anywhere from $40 to $60 depending on cat or dog, age and an optional microchip being implanted. If the people at the animal shelter and organizations that promote animal protection were serious about saving these animals in shelters it would not cost you what it does to adopt a dog or cat from your local animal shelter.
I know that these two very different examples are like night and day when it comes to the emotions involved when you are looking to adopt a child or a family pet. However the problem seems to be the same. It costs too much money to put a needy adoptee with a good adopter. I am not suggesting that it should be free even though that would be nice. I am however suggesting that we work to lower the price and work harder to build great families at a bargain price. I realize we live in a world where money seems to be the driving force behind most motivation. However, we need to start being motivated by something greater than government paper. I don’t pretend to have the solutions to this huge problem other than to start injecting common sense into bureaucracy. Do away with some red tape and cut out some of the flaming hoops. Start allowing love, compassion and the greater good become the driving force behind what we do.
In no way do I intend for this to be an insult to the great men and women who work hard everyday trying to place children and pets with loving families. Most of the problems are at the top of the mountain not in the valley where most of us reside. We need to fix this problem with cost reduction and stream lining of the process. I am grateful to those who work hard to help others. I just wish that more would step up to the plate and then possibly we could change the system itself. We, as a family plan on adopting a child one day. As far as getting a pet, I’ll stick to the Iwanna and the local paper for the free pets.
Matthew
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2 comments:
Matthew,
Your son is 4 years old from what I can gather. Your parenting process has only just begun. As a parent of 6 children, I say from experience parenting is very expensive. In my opinion it is way to easy to become a parent.
Adoption is expensive but I believe the willingness in itself to pay whatever fees necessary says how much you are willing to sacrifice to love that child as a parent. It is just one of many measures that have to be met in order for a family to adopt a child. All of these measures and hurdles are just acts of love in the persistence.
Parenting should not be taken lightly. It's going to cost you every last dime you have and every last ounce of dignity. There are going to be days that you just don't feel like doing or going to work but you have no choice because that child needs you. If the monetary sacrifice cannot be made before you even have the child than perhaps a second thought should be made as to the reality of supporting that child.
I personally have come under horrible criticism and rumor because I chose to work two jobs just to keep the lights on and food on the table. Then when I took a night off even more criticism because my children "need me" at home. The reality is that raising children is personally and financially expensive. If you are not willing to cross the hurdles before that child enters your home are you going to be willing to cross the hurdles after they get here. I had choices, work or sit home watching my kids suffer. The expenses don't go away once they get here. If you can't handle the second job now, who's to say you will then?
The hurdles that have to be crossed for adoption are tough but they are "man's" way of screening for the best candidate. Sometimes you just got to do what you got to do inspite of what the rest of the christian world thinks you should. I say, those same christians are not going to offer to help, no they just sit around watching you and your babies suffer while they laugh at you for working two and three jobs to feed and care for them.
You yourself have to be willing to make whatever sacrifice necessary to care for that child. If you can't stomach the price, perhaps you should consider a puppy. It's easier to give those away when you can't afford them.
Once you fall in love with a child there's no turning back and I love all SIX of my children with my life. It's expensive, get used to it it only gets worse.
I assume it is also expensive staying out at all hours of the night doing "economic development".
Stay home at night with your kids. Tell your husband to get a second job. Your kids need you. Not Sullivans or Jax's Bistro.
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